đ Coordinates: Sparrow CafĂŠ â Argentina.
đ Reading Time: ~7 minutes.
đ§ Housekeeping: (1) My friend Charlie dropped a podcast we did together over the holidays. We riff on my backstory, plant medicine, personal awakening, redesigning culture, cryptocurrency, and more. Part 1 and Part 2 on YouTube. (2) If you know someone who should be on this literary adventure with us, share it with them. âĄď¸
For years Iâve long scorned New Yearâs ResolutionsâŚ
Publicly, they seemed illogical and fruitless. My inner monologue went something like:
âMost people fail. Most people donât have the systems in place required to uphold whatever their resolution is for longer than 2 weeks. Most people donât have any meaningful âwhyâ for doing these other than participation in social tradition and wonât survive the first sign of resistance. Why do something thatâs doomed to fail?â
Privately, I have been working on my relationship to goals and outcome-oriented ways of being. I have largely fallen into the âTaoist aimlessnessâ or âsystems-basedâ camps for many years:
âSystems over goals. Life isnât about an outcome and silly trophies. Can I design a perfect day I would be happy to repeat each and every day? This requires no new resolutions. What is the purpose of arbitrary milestones anyways in the grand scheme of existence?â
These years of my life have been a challengingâsometimes painfulâand beautiful initiation into myself.
I have burned away decades of falsehood, people-pleasing, weakness, and shadow elements. I have accessed realms of consciousness I never dreamed possible. I have been blessed with relationships, experiences, and wisdom that have fundamentally transformed who I am.
But throughout my initiatory processâand in the lives of many whom I know and respectâa critical and meaningful character trait was sacrificed at the altar of personal evolution: ambition.
Many people, particularly those in the spiritual community, have a troubled and difficult relationship with ambition. I am no exception.
When growing up, through the varied forces of cultural expectations, societal dogma, personal trauma, and more, most people inherit and latch onto the perceived importance of external ambition.
âI must study hard to get this, I must work hard to acquire this, I must live hard to achieve this. Once I have done this an infinite number of times, I am finally worthy of my life, and worthy of all the blessings society has bestowed upon me.â
Ambition becomes the tool that people use to achieve specific external accomplishments, which are used to provide a sense of personal self-worth.
Serious spiritual practice is exceptional at demolishing this kind of validation-seeking, subsequently snuffing out large swaths of external ambition.
âReclaim your power. You are the authority of your own life. Shun material accolades and focus on spiritual development. Your value is not in question. Follow the path. Trust the process.â
All of this is real, true, good, and beautiful. I support it.
This approach leads to a 180Âş flip into internal ambition. They focus on developing their character, values, virtues, wisdom, and progressing along the âspiritual pathâ.
Then, at some point, this inner exploration leads them into the deeper waters of the wisdom traditions, and they begin to confront the âdemolishing concepts.â
Zen and Taoism, in particular, are just conceptual wrecking crews in disguise.
âThere is no path. All progress is illusory. Everything is Maya. Do not cling. Practice Wu-Wei, the act of non-doing. In the world but not of the world. Emptiness. Break the cycle of Samsara. Do not give into the passions. All desire leads to suffering. Cultivate no-Mind. Realize no-Self.â
Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, the techniques that were originally helping them just feel a little less shit-all-the-time are suddenly ripping out the very ground from under their feet.
For earnest practitioners who make it beyond this series of dark nights of the soul, this usually marks the death of internal ambition. Who is there to be ambitious if there is no Self? Ambition is just a constellation of sensations, to be witnessed and released. Desire is evil and misguides you.
Iâve been here for several years now.
But then, suddenly, the bubble pops.
When you integrate the realization that there is no independent Self, that you are the entirety of Existence moving in a generative dynamic fashion, you realize that the Tao itself is generating desire and ambition. Ambition is part of the fabric of existence, just like trees and atoms and language are.
Your desire is the desire of all existence.
I am beginning to embrace ambition. To welcome it back into my awareness. It feels different, more deeply rooted. Less focused on proving myself to gain validation and more on pushing my limits as a form of serious play.
I want to share what Iâve landed on and would love to hear from you what your hopes, dreams, desires, and ambitions are for this year. đ
âď¸ Daily Commitments
Daily commitments are the most important to me. If youâve read my recent post, these grew out of my adventures there.
They are simple, and with a little bit of tweaking, 3 Sâs:
Sunrise (awake & active by the time the sun rises each day)
Sweat (self-activated sweat response, activity independent)
Stillness (seated meditation practice, ideally using MCTB exercises)
Each day I resolve to see the sunrise, sweat, and find time for stillness. Thatâs it.
đż Yearly Milestones
My systems and routines focus on: health, work, learning. My yearly goals come out of that.
The bold phrase is the system/process, and the part in parentheses is the measurement.
Endurance Running (Barefoot Half Marathon (21km/13m) official completed race). Scheduled for June 3!
Strength Training (1x BW bench (135lb/61kg), 1.5x BW squat (205lb/93kg), 2x BW deadlift (270lb/123kg)). Already close to this one. :)
Jazz (Complete Saxophone Essentials workbook). Progress videos soon.
Spanish (Conversational proficiency in Spanish). Necesito mas practica!
Writing (1000+ Edge of Being readers total). Currently ~400. :)
My health goals are endurance and strength. I currently live in Argentina, an absolutely stunning cultural scene, so my learning goals are diving deeper into jazz, and becoming more proficient in Spanish. Writing is fundamental to my existence, and I hope to continue to grow and invest my energy into this publication.
đ Trimester Projects
The final category is a few things I want to commit to and build. Iâm calling them trimester projects (because we really donât have a word for a â chunk of the year, did you know that?). That means I am going to build and release 1 of these every 4 months, ideally in this order.
They are:
100 Days Experience (design, build, first group test)
Archetypes Initiation Course (design, build, release)
Taoist Awakening Midjourney Book (design, build, print)
These are things I want to exist in the world. They inspire me and I believe I am perfectly equipped to be the one to create them. Iâm most intimidated to post these publicly because now theyâre out there! I hope that come April, August, and December, Iâm able to give all of you one of these.
I have a âlife dashboardâ in Notion I use. I loaded these up (largely focused on 3-4 months at a time). You can see what it looks like. Reminders of what Iâm working on, and a way to track my dailies. This is using the Life of Discipline app (shoutout to my mate Mike Slavin for sharing this in his Down the Rabbit Hole newsletter), and they have live embeds right into Notion.
There you have it. A new relationship to goals, life, myself, and my work.
Iâd love to hear what youâre working on, and what thoughts you have about goals/systems. Chime off in the comments below or send me an update if thatâs easier. đ
The first creative project coming out is the Hundred Days, or the Heroic 100 (still working on a name) experience. A 100-day initiation of devotional discipline. If youâre interested in this, respond to this email, leave a comment, or somehow make yourself known to me and Iâll send you more information once itâs available.
With love,
EB. đ
Dope cover art on a fire post đĽ
Way to call out some spiritual traps and stage orange allergies here. This feels like a very well thought out and constructive approach to ambition throughout the year. Curious to see what you find works the best and how the progress goes throughout the year